cool jokes

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."




There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".

The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.

The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

How do you know if a moron has been using the computer

When you see white-out all over the screen.

Halloween Jokes

What do monsters like to eat at a cook out

Halloweenies

What is a vampires favorite sport

Casketball

What's a baby ghosts favorite game

peekabooooo

What type of dog is a vampire's favorite

Bloodhound

What do birds give out on Halloween night

Tweets

What did one ghost say to the other

do you believe in people

Some fun valentines day jokes for you,
Happy valentines day
From your friend, Logan

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.


Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.


Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?